flâneur

Irene Pham

1 followers · 1 following · 288 views

on the atlas — 59

highlights — 2171

  • Profanity — how much we use it or how we think about it — gives us a sneak peek into the hidden activities of our neglected darker selves.
    Gmail
  • Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.
    Gmail
  • “Fighting and fucking are two sides of the same Freudian id coin!”
    Gmail
  • Our virtues have the capability to reach Heaven because our roots have the capability to reach Hell.
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  • Freud called it the id and Jung called it the Shadow.
    Gmail
  • everything in this world is about sex, except sex; sex is about power.”
    Gmail
  • “if I enjoy this repulsive, taboo thing, would I be too disgusting for you? Or would you still love me?”
    Gmail
  • Intimacy is the reward for taking the risk of being offensive. If you want to express yourself or get closer to someone, you have to risk offending them; asking someone a personal question is the psychological equivalent of asking them to undo one more button.
    Gmail
  • Evolutionary instincts wire us to be wary of compliments. When a compliment feels too good to be true, it might just be—our gut flags the potential lie, shielding us from manipulators with hidden agendas. It's survival:
    Gmail
  • By overstating qualities that leaders may lack or possess minimally, such praise acts as a stark mirror, highlighting discrepancies between their projected image and their actual deeds.
    Gmail
  • Insults Based On Truth Sting Far More Deeply Than Lies
    Gmail
  • Calling Something Overrated is Not an Insult, It’s a Compliment Anything labeled as overrated must first gain wide recognition and value, proving its quality or impact.
    Gmail
  • expectation of politeness or neutrality, which primes the listener to be particularly sensitive to what follows. The phrase prepares their mind to pay close attention to the nature of the comment that comes after. The Contrast Effect occurs. When the actual statement contrasts with the initial expectation (e.g., it turns out to be disrespectful or critical), the difference can enhance the listener’s perception of the negative content.
    Gmail
  • To Really Get Under Someone's Skin and Provoke Them, Start Your Statement With, "I Don't Mean Any Disrespect…”
    Gmail
  • Nassim Nicholas Taleb @nntaleb Language is largely made to show-off, gossip, confuse people, delude them, charm them, seduce them, scare them, and exploit them. And, as a side effect, convey information. Just a side effect, you fools.
    Gmail
  • If You Are Offended By Someone Insulting You, That Means You Respect Them
    Gmail
  • 1) If I spend far more time thinking about how I should do something than doing it, I need to just do it now.
    how to avoid anxious procrastination - by Ava
  • t’s very much connected to a feeling of overwhelm—like oh man, I can’t handle this right now, it’s too much to deal with. I don’t know how to reply to this text so I’ll just look at it later.
    how to avoid anxious procrastination - by Ava
  • The quality of your life is very much affected by what you avoid. Most people think of procrastination in terms of work and logistical tasks—I haven’t responded to this email, I haven’t seen the dentist in years. But it often extends to things in our personal life too—I haven’t texted my friend back, I need to go visit my parents, I want to bring up something with my partner.
    how to avoid anxious procrastination - by Ava
  • I eventually got to experience the version of New York in which the abundance of people around you is no longer a source of shame, because now you actually have friends, you have people you see every week or two and friends you can invite to a birthday party or an intimate vulnerable philosophical gathering. And this is where the magic of the city hits you more than ever. Everyone is ambitious, curious, tasteful, trying hard at something, whether it’s subway art or TikTok or writing a book or starting a company. I don’t know of any other city with this much variety in its social spaces,
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  • New York is a city of juxtapositions.
    Gmail
  • Here’s a juxtaposition that always captivated me: New York is teeming with people who could be your friend, and suffused by a corresponding loneliness. There is so much to do, so a moment alone has all the more weight and regret wrapped up in it.
    Gmail
  • iggest bog lie of all: that I'm stuck in a situation unlike any I, or anyone else, has ever seen before.
    So you wanna de-bog yourself - by Adam Mastroianni
  • Their problem is they believe that satisfaction is impossible.
    So you wanna de-bog yourself - by Adam Mastroianni
  • This is obsessing over tiny predictors. It's scary to admit that you can't control the future; it's a lot easier to distract yourself by trying to optimize every decision, no matter how insignificant.
    So you wanna de-bog yourself - by Adam Mastroianni
  • Such is the result of the personal problems growth ray, which makes all of your own problems seem larger than life, while other people's stay actual size.
    So you wanna de-bog yourself - by Adam Mastroianni
  • his is hedgehogging: refusing to be influenced by others, even when you should.
    So you wanna de-bog yourself - by Adam Mastroianni
  • I now think of this as super surveillance, tracking every problem in the world as if they were all somehow, ultimately, my problems.
    So you wanna de-bog yourself - by Adam Mastroianni
  • it’s because I've made up a game for myself and decided that I’m losing at it. I haven’t achieved enough. I am not working hard enough
    So you wanna de-bog yourself - by Adam Mastroianni
  • : most of my bogs are imaginary
    So you wanna de-bog yourself - by Adam Mastroianni
  • uppeteering often looks attractive because other people's actions seem silly and therefore easily changeable. Funnily enough, it doesn't feel that way to them. They have lifetimes of backstory that lead them to act the way that they do, and their actions are, on average, only as changeable as yours.
    So you wanna de-bog yourself - by Adam Mastroianni
  • I’ll just be a different person in the future.
    So you wanna de-bog yourself - by Adam Mastroianni
  • But most problems aren’t like that. They’re more like toothbrushing problems: you have to work at them forever until you die.
    So you wanna de-bog yourself - by Adam Mastroianni
  • This is blaming God: pinning the responsibility for my current predicament on something utterly unchangeable. A
    So you wanna de-bog yourself - by Adam Mastroianni
  • f I want to spend more of it on something, I have to spend less of it on something else.
    So you wanna de-bog yourself - by Adam Mastroianni
  • you have this secret unused stock of effort that you can deploy in the future to get yourself unstuck.
    So you wanna de-bog yourself - by Adam Mastroianni
  • This is the try harder fallacy. I behold my situation and conclude that, somehow, I will improve it in the future by just sort of wishing it to be different, and then I get indignant that nothing happens.
    So you wanna de-bog yourself - by Adam Mastroianni
  • About half of my friends kind of hate their jobs, so they're moderately unhappy most of the time, but never unhappy enough to leave.
    So you wanna de-bog yourself - by Adam Mastroianni
  • Being brave feels good.
    So you wanna de-bog yourself - by Adam Mastroianni
  • Sometimes I'll know exactly what I need to do in order to leave the bog, but I'm too afraid to do it.
    So you wanna de-bog yourself - by Adam Mastroianni
  • I'm waiting for jackpot, refusing to do anything until an option arises that dominates all other options on all dimensions
    So you wanna de-bog yourself - by Adam Mastroianni
  • hose people will smile and shake my hand and go, “We feel positive emotions, and it's because of you!” and that will feel good. So I often end up signing on to these projects, feeling resentful the whole time, cursing myself for choosing—freely!—to work hard on things I don't care about.
    So you wanna de-bog yourself - by Adam Mastroianni
  • “everything kinda sucks right now and I’d like to change that but I don’t know how?”
    So you wanna de-bog yourself - by Adam Mastroianni
  • notice what you are inspired by. Notice who you admire.
    Gmail
  • your playing small helps nobody. But your playing small helps you feel safe;
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  • surrendering your final defences against controlling how you are seen,
    Gmail
  • you cannot control what you attract.
    Gmail
  • I sense that the answer is to spend a lot of time with yourself; alone. To cultivate a space where you can return to your true values, your sincere mission, your earnest sense of right and wrong—your sense of what feels true and what feels like the temptation of ego.
    Gmail
  • Like Ram Dass, he found that sense of inner knowing within, the wise inner “I” and learned to trust it:
    Gmail
  • Now I felt a flow of power, but not from them, from within me.
    Gmail