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I Feel Bad and Don’t Wanna Write - guy

rivalvoices.substack.com · 2,025 words · saved by 1 readers

Which provides the perfect context to address a topic I wanted to address for a while: feeling bad, feeling good, and the consequences. How it feels writing this from my bed. I’m on the spiritual path. This happened after originally deconverting from Catholicism in 2004 and later having an accidental Arising & Passing Away in a lucid dream in 2013 . I spent the next DECADE in a Dark Night. Finally, in late 2023 I woke up one day and was just done, done with this—I was going to solve my suffering or die in the process. That very day I sat and meditated for an hour, and did the same for the following 100 days, followed with a bunch of days at 2 hours, and I even tried to get up to 3, but never succeeded. Map of the Stages of Insight by Roger Thisdell: “A&P” is Stage 4 here, “Dark Night” is the whole portion in red, and “Desire for Deliverance” is Stage 9—that’s my “being done with it”. I was desperate to solve my suffering. Thankfully, I was on Twitter. Twitter is a circus but the circus

I stayed up too late, got up too early, and now I feel bad and don’t wanna write. Which provides the perfect context to address a topic I wanted to address for a while: feeling bad, feeling good, and the consequences. How it feels writing this from my bed. I’m on the spiritual path. This happened after originally deconverting from Catholicism in 2004 and later having an accidental Arising & Passing Away in a lucid dream in 2013 . I spent the next DECADE in a Dark Night. Finally, in late 2023 I woke up one day and was just done, done with this—I was going to solve my suffering or die in…

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