The friction has to go somewhere - by Carmen - Altered

Overcoming conflict avoidance

For the longest time I had the fantasy that if I could perfectly understand and mold myself to other people, no one would be upset with me and I would be loved. It worked well enough for a while. Schoolmates voted me for class president, bosses loved that I could work 16 hour days without flinching, and frat boys marveled at how “easy” I was to date. It didn’t take much to elevate my pathological people-pleasing to virtue: I was the hard worker, the thoughtful self-reflector, the world-class empathizer. The truth was confrontation terrified me. Years ago I did some graphic design work for…

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