flâneur

Lashing Out Hurts You the Most

ask-polly.com · 2,269 words · saved by 10 readers

Stop injuring yourself in a misguided attempt to stand up for yourself. When you consistently get your own back, you don't go on the attack.

Moon, Sea, Mist (1955) by Helen Lundeberg (Welcome, New York Times readers! I’ve been writing this advice column for 11 years now. Hop on board, we have a good time around here! I also write essays, humor, and prose here.) I used to lash out. I’d write long emails explaining how someone had wronged me. I’d pick up the phone and when words became tense, I’d defend my position, then shift to a counterattack. In my twenties, my closest friendships were best summed up by the scene in “Girls” where Marnie calls Hannah a “big ugly wound” and Hannah replies, “No, you’re the wound!” Lashing out…

saved by

related reading