flâneur

deliberate - by Molly Mielke - Mind Mud

mindmud.substack.com · 737 words · saved by 1 readers

For a long time, all I thought I wanted was to do my own thing. But when I finally achieved personal and professional independence, I became paralyzed and actively made moves to limit my own freedom. I think there were two main reasons for this: I found it quite scary to be responsible for all of my own decisions and to have no one to blame for not reaching my goals but me. I had set an upper limit on how big I thought I should be based on how much I thought I was worth and I kept running into that limit, trapping myself in place. I was terrified that the exposure that comes with attention would reveal to the world that I was a bad person. As it turns out, whether you’re terrified or not while assuming all responsibility for yourself does not matter much. What does matter is what decisions you make in the midst of the discomfort that comes with risk — do you see it as short-term and continue to make choices that are in your own long-term best interest? Choosing to keep going while bear

I’m continually wrong about all sorts of stuff. I like documenting this on a yearly basis: Standing on my own two feet has been way more terrifying than I thought. For a long time, all I thought I wanted was to do my own thing. But when I finally achieved personal and professional independence, I became paralyzed and actively made moves to limit my own freedom. I think there were two main reasons for this: I found it quite scary to be responsible for all of my own decisions and to have no one to blame for not reaching my goals but me. I had set an upper limit on how big I thought I should…

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