flâneur

another day of sun - by vincent huang - a slice of my mind

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here we go again - back into darkness, into the void, into a place i’ve known for years, maybe my whole life. it is not painful or pleasurable, it is not upsetting or encouraging, at this point i simply look around and think to myself oh, this is where i’ve ended up again. i learned a long time ago that i can never truly escape the endless calls of what the fuck am i doing with my life?, that there will always be more crises of faith, that whatever else happens the feeling of vertigo will eventually return this does not make life futile. i remember the kinds of episodes i used to have - three years ago whenever i had a crisis i’d hate myself and lash out at people near me; that mostly stopped once i figured out some things about self-worth. one year ago whenever i had a crisis i’d feel alone (in the cosmic sense) and block out all my friends; that mostly stopped once i realized how precious my friendships were. this is progress, even if it does not always feel that way. i think it’s a

here we go again - back into darkness, into the void, into a place i’ve known for years, maybe my whole life. it is not painful or pleasurable, it is not upsetting or encouraging, at this point i simply look around and think to myself oh, this is where i’ve ended up again. i learned a long time ago that i can never truly escape the endless calls of what the fuck am i doing with my life?, that there will always be more crises of faith, that whatever else happens the feeling of vertigo will eventually return this does not make life futile. i remember the kinds of episodes i used to have -…

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