Pari Bhandarkar

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on the atlas — 53

highlights — 41

i think this is why i still enjoy a bland conversation at a party or a bad first date, no matter what i will always be having a good time because i think every conversation has value to be discovered for those curious enough. to put responsibility off of other people and onto ourselves to make an interaction feel substantial feels a bit daunting but optimistically shiny at the same time.
what makes a person interesting? - by emily north
We also say in aviation you start out with a full bag of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the experience up before the luck runs out.
What do you remember about the untimely 1999 deaths of John F Kennedy Jr., Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy, and Lauren Bessette? : r/AskOldPeopleAdvice
But I think adhering to a code of simply giving a shit, even (especially) when no one forces you to, is an act of agency. It is anti-entropy. In my head, care is something you do so the floor doesn’t collapse. It’s structural, it’s about upholding your end of the invisible social bargain. We don’t care to save the world in the epic sense because that’s so much weight on a single shoulder. But we care to keep the commons generative rather than hellish. Being the person who gives a shit is often the only thing preventing the baseline from crashing to zero.
ghosts in our own lives
I treasure the days in which I can nap. And I treasure even more the nights in which I sleep long and well.
Sleep is not just a physical need but a delicious pleasure | Aeon Essays
What I find really interesting about the second half of the film, is that there's relatively no evidence of who Shantipriya was, or her memory or legacy; but just because a single fan exists, Shantipriya also lives on. It seems a very pertinent idea in the film too, as long as a fan is alive, the artist's legacy can never truly die.
Bollywood Mythmaking in Om Shanti Om - by Paridhi Puri
The Filmfare Award ceremony in Om Shanti Om is probably the most real those awards have ever been — further enhanced by the fact that Farah Khan actually shot the red carpet interview montage in the film at a real life Filmfare Awards show — she stood there with her own camera and asked actors to deliver dialogues that she dictated. I like how the second half of the film takes us closer to the establishment, the status quo of the industry that Om Prakash yearns to participate in. It's a joyous swirl of irony and parody -—when Amitabh Bachchan is asked about Om Kapoor, he replies “Who is he?”, …
Bollywood Mythmaking in Om Shanti Om - by Paridhi Puri
When Shanti thanks Om for saving her life, Om tells her, "Dosti ka ek asool hai madam, no sorry, no thank you - ye kisi film ka dialogue hai"(4) — she laughs and asks him if he writes dialogues too; while in the background we see a young Sooraj Barjatya overhearing the exchange — it is implied he writes it down for his maiden film, Maine Pyaar Kiya (1989). This is an excellent example of how a lot of scenes in the film serve as foreshadowing and build on the myth of real life incidents that make Bollywood the starry-eyed business it is.
Bollywood Mythmaking in Om Shanti Om - by Paridhi Puri
The first weeks of months of falling in love, you might want to think about nothing else; sometimes something’s all-consuming, it’s a beautiful experience to be in.
the case for living life in seasons - by Erifili Gounari
just give yourself to something
the case for living life in seasons - by Erifili Gounari
The question isn’t whether to replace WhatsApp. The question is: What does India need to build so that WhatsApp’s limitations stop being India’s limitations?
WhatsApp owns India! - by Dharmesh Ba
To put it bluntly: Meta doesn’t care about your kirana store’s inventory management problem. Not because they’re evil, but because they’re a trillion-dollar company optimizing for trillion-dollar opportunities.
WhatsApp owns India! - by Dharmesh Ba
Infrastructure is different from products. Products are things you choose. Infrastructure is what you assume exists. You don’t think about electricity until the power goes out. You don’t think about roads until they’re blocked. India stopped thinking about WhatsApp years ago. It’s just... there. Assumed. Essential. This matters because of a simple truth: when something becomes infrastructure, its problems stop being individual frustrations and start being citizen problems.
WhatsApp owns India! - by Dharmesh Ba
No progress ever happened through ego maintenance. You don’t need to protect your peace and guard your humanness. You need to go to the party, share a meal. You will double text and beg for reciprocity. You will get hurt. Life is not getting to the finish line and being awarded three gold medals as one who cared the least, made no mistake, and was never embarrassed. Life is other people. Life is service.
life is other people - by Valerie - club reticent
As a veteran of the Extremely Rare Disease support forums, I have to tell you they aren't really great places for anxious minds either. Right after diagnosis, I was talking to a friend who has both mental health issues as well as an extremely rare physical disease. While neither of our diseases are well-known enough to have attracted hypochondriacs seeking homes, she still warned me against "sticking around in online groups" and that they "can be helpful for a little... but take resources, vet them well, and leave" (or something to that effect). I was honestly kind of shocked when she said tha…
Comments - the gallery of maladies - by kate wagner
So, leave breadcrumbs. Take the act seriously. What I’ve said above can’t be the only way, or the only purposes. They are just what’s come to mind right now.
Breadcrumbs - by Simon Sarris - The Map is Mostly Water
the interesting people I have found I did not first meet in person, but found their breadcrumbs online: blogs, projects, videos, stories, photo reels, some of them produced years before I found them. People understand the idea of a famous author’s or director’s body of work, but there is no reason this concept can’t apply to everyone in some small way. I think it does.
Breadcrumbs - by Simon Sarris - The Map is Mostly Water
One aspect of life, somewhat neglected in the digital age, is the desire to see and be seen. We should not only desire that others find us, we need them to. We need jobs, relationships, friends, and all other kinds of connections. Though it sometimes feels that these connections are assigned at random, it is never true, they are always the product of someone’s efforts. Trivially, hiding in a basement yields zero connections. Even going to the store is more fruitful. As I mentioned a few years ago, the cost of going to a cafe every single day is cheap, if it means you find your wife. Or put ano…
Breadcrumbs - by Simon Sarris - The Map is Mostly Water
One belief I have is that if you wish to be virtuous you will learn to eat cereal virtuously. The novice of virtue is tempted by dreams of heroic acts, just as the novice sculptor daydreams of palatial monuments, or other grand work. But the master sculptor is extraordinary not because he has been commissioned for monumental bronzes (which may never happen), but because he labors over every small detail. Virtue should not be thought of as a handmaid of heroism, but instead as an undercurrent of everything one does. Day-to-day matters are more important than theoretical great acts, and failure …
Breadcrumbs - by Simon Sarris - The Map is Mostly Water
I wish for a future that is more mossy and mysterious than anything we’ve dreamed up lately. I hope its nature displays inexhaustible fruitfulness and enchantments. Instead of striving towards some clean minimalism, we should strive to have gardens worth cultivating. You don’t have to literally keep a garden. But you have to find where you are going to lick the honey from the knife.
Viscerality - by Simon Sarris - The Map is Mostly Water
A beautiful rug that is falling apart is worth more than a pristine new rug of the now-common sterility. The new rug is not a product of beauty but of manufacturing ease. The wool rug, worn and fading, has a visceral and living beauty. People will say the old wool rug has “character”. What they mean is that it directly touches the senses. It has the thumb-print of life upon it.
Viscerality - by Simon Sarris - The Map is Mostly Water
Joan Didion used fine silver every day because she was open to delights beyond convenience. She saw the pleasure of detail. It carried something visceral to her senses, something not trivial, that she noticed enough to cherish. To gratify our own senses we must cultivate this attention to detail. Eating a boiled egg is 6 grams of protein and 5 grams of fat. Eating a boiled egg from a nice egg cup, with a little spoon, on a picnic blanket outside is a lusty experience.
Viscerality - by Simon Sarris - The Map is Mostly Water
When you know your roots, your story, your body’s truth, your meaning, and your patterns, your voice stops wobbling. You stop performing and start expressing. And that’s when life finally responds to you, not the version of you you’ve edited for everyone else.
This is how you actually manifest the life that you want
And when I reflect back there was one thing that stopped me from speaking my voice: FEAR OF WHAT OTHER PEOPLE WOULD THINK OF ME. Which is a direct result of not trusting yourself. We tend to operate under the logic: if “others” (insert the names in your head here) think of us as “good”, “perfect”, etc = we will get what we want. My question is: how that has been working for you? If it hasn’t been working so well, maybe it’s time to change the strategy.
This is how you actually manifest the life that you want
When you stay silent, life happens to you. When you speak, you shape it. Speaking didn’t just fix my relationships. It shifted my entire trajectory because it made my inner world visible to the outer one.
This is how you actually manifest the life that you want
Waiting to be discovered is the opposite of manifesting. It’s outsourcing your voice to chance. Communication is agency, and there’s no manifesting without agency.
This is how you actually manifest the life that you want
I resented other people who did similar work and had visibility. I remember thinking to myself that I could do better than them, that it wasn’t fair that they were seen but I wasn’t. I’m going to confess something… deep down I wanted to be “discovered”, like if someone from the outside would come and notice how amazing I treated people around me, how nice I was, how great was my work (have you heard of “I’m going to let my work speak for itself?”).
This is how you actually manifest the life that you want
People who communicate better suffer less. This is not an opinion, this is a fact. They suffer less because they can make themselves better understood. Because they can solve better their own problems. Because they can through communication, make allies, ask for help, require direction, give instructions to others to do what they need to be done, express their will, and communicate their intention and plans.
This is how you actually manifest the life that you want
I questioned lots of things. But I never questioned him. I never questioned that I wanted to discuss these issues with him, that I wanted to figure out a solution together, that these were hurdles I wanted to navigate as a couple. No relationship is perfect without question. But I think there’s a difference between questioning whether you want to be with someone vs. how you will be with someone.
If You're Wondering, "Is This It?" It's Not
I’m telling you that every time I’ve wondered “Is this it?”, it hasn’t been. I’m telling you that, in most cases, “Is this it?” is a question answered by the asking.
If You're Wondering, "Is This It?" It's Not
“Go, even though you love him. Go, even though he’s kind and faithful and dear to you. Go, even though he’s your best friend and you’re his. Go, even though you can’t imagine your life without him. Go, even though he adores you and your leaving will devastate him. Go, even though your friends will be disappointed or surprised, or pissed off or all three. Go, even though you once said you would stay. Go, even though you’re afraid of being alone. Go, even though you’re sure no one will ever love you as well as he does. Go, even though there is nowhere to go. Go, even though you don’t know exactl…
If You're Wondering, "Is This It?" It's Not
Rewatch Sex and the City regularly.
40 Things I Would Passionately Recommend - by Taylor Davies
I am a big believer in shooting your shot delusionally, in ways that have no business working out, but then very often, they do.
this will convince you to have radical self belief
We say yes when we mean maybe. We walk down aisles toward people we’re not sure about. We defend what hurts us, drift from our friends, throw pieces of our lives away for men who would never do the same. And when it all inevitably falls apart, we act like love itself betrayed us, instead of admitting we ignored the signs all along.
having a boyfriend isn't embarrassing. settling is.
This is what I infer when I see someone who is comfortable in their unique strangeness, too. There probably exists someone who enabled that evolution of personality. A parent, a friend group, a spouse. It is rare for people to come into themselves if no one is excited and curious about their core, their potential. We need someone who gives us space to unfold.
Relationships are coevolutionary loops - by Henrik Karlsson
As you venture into a new project, start with what you have. You don’t need to buy the newest camera to start a YouTube channel. Or build a super fancy website for your new business. Or get the best running shoes on the market to start training for that race. Commit to the process with the resources you already have (or if you must: borrow, buy for cheap, thrift), but don’t fall into the trap of thinking you need these things to start.
My rules for making - by Florencia Ornelas
The WAG fantasy sells because it flatters a certain nostalgia. The dynamic of “beautiful, devoted wife” on the sidelines and the “tough, talented man” in the arena is good business. It’s the same fantasy fueling BookTok’s boom in sports romance, where the plot circles around a “bad boy” male athlete and the girl who makes him more human. There is an obsession with the hyper-feminine woman whose role is to boost the masculinity of her partner.
The era of the hot, helpless woman - by Sabine Carys
You learn that boundaries aren’t walls, and that one of the biggest favors you can do for yourself is simply refuse to settle for relationships that leave you feeling exhausted and empty. Friendship is sacred to me in a way that demands intentionality. It’s not just a suggestion or a concept to me anymore, it’s something that just has to happen.
is friendship sacred to you? - by faith zapata
What’s not fine is giving everyone the same level of access and then wondering why you feel so drained. Because as you get older, your energy starts to gain a limit, and you understand that saying yes to everyone sometimes also means saying no to yourself.
is friendship sacred to you? - by faith zapata
I keep saying I don’t know how to have fun anymore, but what I really mean is, I don’t know how to let myself have fun.
I’ve protected my peace so much, I’ve accidentally made myself boring.
The bookmark is a kind of fantasy: Not just in the sense that we can convince ourselves, while employing it, that we will one day transform an old t-shirt into shorts, but that by using it we’re not merely passive observers of our social feeds, but active participants, explorers, collectors. Gathering resources for a life we’re bound to start living.
#241: The fantasy of the “saved folder” - by Haley Nahman
Think about it. Why do management consultants straight out of university with no real experience earn more than essential workers, even though the market for these corporate roles is more oversaturated than perhaps any other field? Because the work is soul-crushing. It has zero impact. Companies pay for advice they don’t implement. Everyone knows it. That’s why you have to pay people so much to do it. The salary is compensation for wasting your existence. Plenty of doctors or teachers would do their job for free. But ask any of these corporate guys to take a pay cut and they’d all quit tomorro…
The Epidemic of Wasted Talent - by Alex McCann