Aadil A.
143 followers · 35 following · 4250 views
on the atlas · 171
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highlights · 186
I told my girlfriend in our first week, “If I did not want to be inconvenienced by you, I would not be in a relationship with you.”
North Americans have depressing relationships - by SpencerThe first time I expressed frustration over a friend’s refusal to inconvenience themselves for me, I was surprised at the fact that this was treated as something unreasonable.
North Americans have depressing relationships - by SpencerThey’ll hold friendships with friends they don’t like.
North Americans have depressing relationships - by SpencerHe checks in with himself and realizes that he would feel resentful if he cancelled. He has already given a lot of emotional energy to the relationship that week, and maintaining his friendships is important to him. A romantic relationship should not automatically take priority over every other connection in his life. He offers to order her soup before he leaves. He also suggests that she contact someone else in her support network. She messages three friends. One is overwhelmed with work. Another has plans with her partner. The third is protecting her energy after a difficult week. Every pers…
North Americans have depressing relationships - by SpencerThere is so much that Elise was looking forward to. The imminent arrival of our first grandchild. Elizabeth’s graduation from college. The next chapter of her life. But Elise will not be here for any of these.
In Memory of My Wife, Elise Cawley (1961–2026), with Thanks for 36 Wonderful Years—Stephen Wolfram Writingssince the Boston area was the place where together we knew the most people, that was where we should go.
In Memory of My Wife, Elise Cawley (1961–2026), with Thanks for 36 Wonderful Years—Stephen Wolfram Writingsthe world overnight had a new center”: our first child, Alexander, was born.
In Memory of My Wife, Elise Cawley (1961–2026), with Thanks for 36 Wonderful Years—Stephen Wolfram Writingswhat made me originally develop our technology was that I wanted to use it myself
In Memory of My Wife, Elise Cawley (1961–2026), with Thanks for 36 Wonderful Years—Stephen Wolfram Writingswhen it was just Elise and me on our own, we always seemed to have things to talk about, in fact an infinite number of things.
In Memory of My Wife, Elise Cawley (1961–2026), with Thanks for 36 Wonderful Years—Stephen Wolfram WritingsElise would say that there were people of action, and there were philosophers. She saw herself more as the latter. She had strong opinions about how things should be in the world. But she was much more interested in figuring out what should be than in what she saw as the grind of trying to make it actually happen.
In Memory of My Wife, Elise Cawley (1961–2026), with Thanks for 36 Wonderful Years—Stephen Wolfram Writingsand was constantly telling me that I shouldn’t try to figure out absolutely everything (including about everyday life) from first principles
In Memory of My Wife, Elise Cawley (1961–2026), with Thanks for 36 Wonderful Years—Stephen Wolfram WritingsIf you have a good theory of your codebase, you can push the LLM much harder than if you have no familiarity.
LLMs reward expertiseSomeone who takes an undemanding job because it affords him the time to pursue other interests and activities is considered a flake. A person who abandons a career in order to stay home and raise children is considered not to be living up to his potential-as if a job title and salary are the sole measure of human worth.
Calvin and Hobbes at Martijn's - Bill WattersonIt's surprising how hard we'll work when the work is done just for ourselves.
Calvin and Hobbes at Martijn's - Bill Wattersonand get a W on your record (which turns out to be quite valuable)
Advice for ambitious 19 year olds - Sam AltmanWorking on something good will pull you along a path where good things keep happening to you.
Advice for ambitious 19 year olds - Sam AltmanSelling out is usually more a matter of buying in. Sell out, and you're really buying into someone else's system of values, rules and rewards. The so-called "opportunity" I faced would have meant giving up my individual voice for that of a money-grubbing corporation. It would have meant my purpose in writing was to sell things, not say things
Calvin and Hobbes at Martijn's - Bill Wattersonusually I fall into a brief spell of video game addiction. Why? Trying an ambitious project usually requires temporarily leaving clarity behind, and entering into a period when reality is unevenly responsive. You have no idea whether it will work out, and the usual drips of reinforcement are not there. But good video games are extremely responsive.
What the humans like is responsiveness - by Sasha Chapina major factor in burnout is “broken steering”: people feeling, for a long period of time, that their efforts to exert control don’t do anything.
What the humans like is responsiveness - by Sasha ChapinBut it’s hard to imagine anyone happy without a feeling that their actions have some impact,
What the humans like is responsiveness - by Sasha ChapinDerek Sivers, founder of CD Baby, credits some of his success to a single email he wrote, the message that got sent out when you bought a CD. Customers went crazy for it. It’s worth quoting in full: Your CD has been gently taken from our CD Baby shelves with sterilized contamination-free gloves and placed onto a satin pillow. A team of 50 employees inspected your CD and polished it to make sure it was in the best possible condition before mailing. Our packing specialist from Japan lit a candle and a hush fell over the crowd as he put your CD into the finest gold-lined box that money can buy. W…
What the humans like is responsiveness - by Sasha ChapinI don’t know what would happen if I tried the same thing, because I’ve never tried.
Attention is all you need | AlexandriaThe distinction sounds subtle. The consequences are structural.
Stop Thinking in Archetypes, Start Building in GenresThere is the third reason to become a parent: It gives the people you love another way to know you.
On Being a Dad - Derek ThompsonThere is no such thing as an individual. But I think the down-to-earth version feels more true: Every individual is the sum of their relationships.
On Being a Dad - Derek ThompsonShe had, for instance, had several insights about the design process, which I realized could help me in my work, writing essays. This was a bit of a narcissistic way of getting curious about her, but you have to start somewhere.
Love is to be invested in someone’s continual expansionShe senses that there is more out there to value than she currently values, and she strives to come to see what she cannot yet get fully into view.
Love is to be invested in someone’s continual expansionFor example, the first time I tried to read Tolstoy, as a teenager, I didn’t get it—I didn’t want to read it. But I wanted to be the kind of person who wanted to read Tolstoy.
Love is to be invested in someone’s continual expansionYour love of your child is not motivated by something else you value; it is unconditional. Adult love isn’t fully unconditional like this.
Love is to be invested in someone’s continual expansionTo be a parent is to be a permanent tourist in a constantly evolving foreign city, which also happens to be your home.
Love is to be invested in someone’s continual expansionTo many, this might not sound like a problem. But our relationship had always been defined by a constantly ongoing conversation about things that excite us.
Love is to be invested in someone’s continual expansionech industry sources expressed more extreme concern about the labor market impacts of A.I. in private conversation — but suddenly became optimists once I turned on the mic.
Silicon Valley Is Bracing for a Permanent Underclass - The New York TimesThe two most insular cities I’ve lived in are San Francisco and Beijing. They are places where people are willing to risk apocalypse every day in order to reach utopia.
Dan Wang | The secure transport of lightThere’s a general lack of cultural awareness in the Bay Area. It’s easy to hear at these parties that a person’s favorite nonfiction book is Seeing Like a State while their aspirationally favorite novel is Middlemarch.
Dan Wang | The secure transport of lightwho do I feel nervous around in this environment and why
Maybe Social Anxiety Is Just You Failing At Mind ControlSafety behaviors in social anxiety research include such concrete, measurable things like: avoiding eye contact with strangers to avoid them judging you. staying at the periphery of group conversations to avoid notice. holding a cup of water in group conversation (which gives you an excuse not to speak) Safety behaviors have a bidirectional relationship with social anxiety in the literature-- they are both an effect and a cause of social anxiety
Maybe Social Anxiety Is Just You Failing At Mind ControlThe goal is not to be liked; the goal is to say true things, be kind, and be just a bit selfish, in that order.
Maybe Social Anxiety Is Just You Failing At Mind ControlAt this point, the way I ask girls on dates is by cutting out literally any attempt at subtlety or derisking and just saying something along the lines of “I think you are extremely cool and would love to take you on a date”, then wait for a response. Because that shit’s nerve-wracking!
Maybe Social Anxiety Is Just You Failing At Mind ControlVulnerable Honesty. Say exactly the thing that I’m thinking about in exactly the terms I’m thinking about it
Maybe Social Anxiety Is Just You Failing At Mind ControlCuriosity is one selfish impulse that I get a lot of mileage out of.
Maybe Social Anxiety Is Just You Failing At Mind ControlCoverage of Silicon Valley increasingly reminds me of coverage of China, where a legacy media reporter might parachute in, write a dispatch on something that looks deranged, and leave without moving past caricature.
Dan Wang | The secure transport of lightyou're just pushing the emotional labor of building human connections onto others. Someone has to take the risk of reaching out, being vulnerable, and possibly misreading the situation. When you refuse to take that risk, you're literally saying “let them do it.” That is, in fact, deeply inconsiderate.
Confidence Engineering: Or, Metacognitive Therapy For Social-Romantic AnxietyI find that is the distance I need to hold them in goodwill, to not resent them for being who they are.
Resentment is needing others to change so you can stay the sameo give you something you want but feel you are being denied, to stop doing the things you find distasteful, to conform to your ideas of how a person ought to live.
Resentment is needing others to change so you can stay the sameBut no! I reject! Laziness is a shining beacon that guides you into effortlessness! In marketing, your boredom itself is a virtue, one that you have constantly been trained to squash. If you are writing a blog post and discover your attention is wandering, STOP AND TRY SOMETHING ELSE. If you are trying to explain a concept and the life drains out of you and it feels like you are trudging through mud, STOP AND TRY SOMETHING ELSE. It’s an important signal!! If your attention fades off of it, probably others’ will too. The secret to magic attention is that it occurs effortlessly; as soon as there…
A Feral Guide to Marketing - by Aella - KnowinglessThe thing is, the better you get at writing, the better the content is that you have to cut
You're Writing a Book. So Stop Writing a Movie.when you are not able to process your negative emotions—and instead let feelings like frustration, vindictiveness, and hurt bleed out into the conversation—it makes it much harder to have difficult conversations.
Some relationships deepen when you tell the truth and some endAnd if you are at the same time asked to deal with someone else’s feelings, that makes the conversation more challenging.
Some relationships deepen when you tell the truth and some endBut with groups, there was a whole set of social dynamics that made people turn on whoever challenged the status quo.
Some relationships deepen when you tell the truth and some endboundaries are the distance we need from someone to still love them.
Resentment is needing others to change so you can stay the same