flâneur

how i parent myself when things get overwhelming

ayushithakkar.substack.com · 1,452 words · saved by 1 readers

i don’t remember the exact moment i became the adult in the room. but somewhere between pushing myself through deadlines with a pounding chest and telling my inner child she doesn’t need to cry so loud just to be heard, i learned something peculiar: that parenting yourself isn’t about bubble baths and gentle affirmations. it’s about showing up especially when the version of you that’s showing up feels like a crumpled napkin under someone’s coffee mug. it’s about noticing the early signs of collapse before the world can. because by the time it’s visible to others, you’ve likely already drowned in it twice. for years, i mistook performance for progress. if i was crossing things off a to-do list while spiraling internally, it meant i was functioning. if i looked composed in public but was shutting down emotionally at night, it meant i was strong. and when i inevitably crashed, whether by disappearing into silence, crying in my kitchen for no obvious reason, or irrationally snapping at som

i don’t remember the exact moment i became the adult in the room. but somewhere between pushing myself through deadlines with a pounding chest and telling my inner child she doesn’t need to cry so loud just to be heard, i learned something peculiar: that parenting yourself isn’t about bubble baths and gentle affirmations. it’s about showing up especially when the version of you that’s showing up feels like a crumpled napkin under someone’s coffee mug. it’s about noticing the early signs of collapse before the world can. because by the time it’s visible to others, you’ve likely already…

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