This post is full of triggers. - by Nicola T

Q&A vol. 3 - August 2021

About trauma. Trigger warning. Last month I ventured to publish the phrase ‘I don’t know much about trauma’ as part of this series of reflections. On the day following publication, our son of 16 months, Raphael, succumbed to dengue fever. He died in his father’s arms on Sunday the 25th of July, 2021, in our home in the remote forest of Vanuatu. I have learned some things about trauma. The teaching was issued swiftly, with the force of its very impossibility; our best efforts were not enough to save him, and our boy slipped away suddenly, before our very eyes. It was traumatic in the truest…

related reading

• 'My Dad Died Unexpectedly And I Can't Get Over It!'ask-polly.com
• The Deaths—and Lives—of Two Sons | The New Yorkernewyorker.com
• Bereavement and storytellingsurrendernow.substack.com
• On Losing a Daughter - The Atlantictheatlantic.com
• The grief of losing your sense of self is like getting to Heaven and being upset they don't have your favorite flavor of La Croixaltered.substack.com
• DEAR SUGAR, The Rumpus Advice Column #78: The Obliterated Place - The Rumpustherumpus.net
• Nintil - There was only momnintil.com
• Deliberate Grieving — LessWronglesswrong.com
• Letting Go & Moving Onsurrendernow.substack.com
• How We Grieve: Meghan O’Rourke on the Messiness of Mourning and Learning to Live with Loss – The Marginalianthemarginalian.org
• People I imagined on the worst day of my lifenataliercargill.substack.com
• Grief is a Bird in an Airportsubstack.com