flâneur

Choosing from the fig tree - by shaahana - rambles

shaahana.substack.com · 1,027 words · saved by 1 readers

I’m 23, and experiencing a Waterloo September for my 6th year in a row. Friends have moved on. They’ve started jobs in big cities, settling into their new grad lives. Whether it be finding their long-term partners, beginning classes that last longer than 4 months (because it’s the first time in your life you’ll be somewhere longer than 4 months), or starting their careers in places we’ve always wanted to work, it feels as if our lives are diverging. Is this what growing up is about? I spent the last year mulling over what comes next. I wrote thousands of words scattered across journals, and conversations with friends, or mentors - to help me develop a sense of what I wanted and I just couldn’t figure it out. Typically, it feels that there is always the ‘right’ choice. It’s clear which company you should land at, which city to live in, and who to follow. I’ve been describing this feeling to anyone that would listen with prose found in Sylvia Plath’s “Bell Jar,” - with this concept of a

I’m 23, and experiencing a Waterloo September for my 6th year in a row. Friends have moved on. They’ve started jobs in big cities, settling into their new grad lives. Whether it be finding their long-term partners, beginning classes that last longer than 4 months (because it’s the first time in your life you’ll be somewhere longer than 4 months), or starting their careers in places we’ve always wanted to work, it feels as if our lives are diverging. Is this what growing up is about? I spent the last year mulling over what comes next. I wrote thousands of words scattered across journals, and…

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