love in the time of hyperfixation - by Ava

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I saw a TikTok where a girl’s therapist told her that in a healthy relationship with anything, you give ~30% of yourself, and keep 70% private. In an unhealthy relationship, you might give 90% and keep only 10%. I found this advice so wholly unrelateable I had to write an entire Substack post about it.

Florine Stettheimer, Picnic at Bedford Hills, 1918 I saw a TikTok where a girl’s therapist told her that in a healthy relationship with anything, you give ~30% of yourself, and keep 70% private. In an unhealthy relationship, you might give 90% and keep only 10%. I found this advice so wholly unrelatable I had to write an entire Substack post about it. As you might already know: when I like something, I get tunnel vision. I can’t see or think about anything else. For me, the beginning of obsession feels completely, unmistakably good. There’s a purity to the experience that can only be…

love in the time of hyperfixation - by Ava

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