The paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, I change

Looking for Alice, part 4

Almost three years ago, I wrote an essay, called “Looking for Alice,” about how I met my wife Johanna. This is a prequel of sorts. See also: part 2 and part 3 of the series. The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. —Carl Rogers On various hard drives and USB sticks stored in our barn, I keep the diaries from my university years, 2010–2014. Last week I reread them for the first time since I wrote them. It was interesting, but also uncomfortable, to see myself at such a distance. Many of the things that were important to me then are not visible from…

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