flâneur

When someone says they hate your product with a burning passion

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Let’s say you get negative feedback in public. It’s blunt, even abrasive. You instinctively bristle: they’re wrong, they don’t get it, they’re trolling. So naturally, you push back. But your rebuttal only makes the critic double down, and now others are piling on. You clarify your position, but it only gets worse. Why does this happen, and what can you do about it? Imagine a thermostat for your credibility. People form an opinion on what the correct setting should be, and they regulate if the reality seems off. If you’re above their setpoint, people feel you’re overrated and want to bring you down; if you’re below it, people feel you’re underrated and want to build you up. And the farther off you are, the more they’ll overcorrect. When someone is frustrated with you (or your company, or your product), they have a view of how much you should be dinged for something. Venting in public is a way to regulate your reputation and achieve the proper homeostasis, like turning a thermostat towar

Let’s say you get negative feedback in public. It’s blunt, even abrasive. You instinctively bristle: they’re wrong, they don’t get it, they’re trolling. So naturally, you push back. But your rebuttal only makes the critic double down, and now others are piling on. You clarify your position, but it only gets worse. Why does this happen, and what can you do about it? Imagine a thermostat for your credibility. People form an opinion on what the correct setting should be, and they regulate if the reality seems off. If you’re above their setpoint, people feel you’re overrated and want to bring…

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