i am here and i am alive - by Lilian Caylee

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an update on my depression

For all my writing about my depression as a thing of the past, the truth is that I have good days, good weeks, but not yet good months. For every ~seven good days, I have the occasional bad day (or more precisely, bad hours) that can become so bad that self-harm seems fathomable. I’ve found a direct correlation between an oncoming depressive episode and the desire to numb myself—either through mindless scrolling or mindless television (I have an ever-expanding inventory of shows that I hate-watch). I’ve found the same correlation with my ~flow~, a phenomenon that I hadn’t experienced until…

i am here and i am alive - by Lilian Caylee

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