the life-changing magic of being direct - by Ava

substack.com · 528 words · saved by 1 readers

I’ve been on a multi-year journey of becoming someone who’s direct. I very much grew up as a member of Guess Culture, not Ask Culture. The end result was that I got really good at guessing. Which meant I could with 90%+ accuracy predict whether I was going to get a yes or no and then I would only ask someone when I was sure I’d get a yes. Which meant I did a lot of observing, and waiting, which is probably why I became a writer (your neuroses shape your vocation, guys, so it’s not bad to be fucked up). However, my beliefs around this have changed a lot in the past five years. What I believe now: It’s still worth asking for something or being direct about your feelings even if the answer is no or your directness is not well-received. Because sometimes the answer is, surprisingly, a yes! But even if it’s a no, saying what you feel is the number one way to create closure. Also, saying what you feel gives you more than closure—it clarifies to you who you are and what you want. People who a

Walter Swennen, Lights of Moke, 2017 I’ve been on a multi-year journey of becoming someone who’s direct. I very much grew up as a member of Guess Culture, not Ask Culture. The end result was that I got really good at guessing. Which meant I could with 90%+ accuracy predict whether I was going to get a yes or no and then I would only ask someone when I was sure I’d get a yes. Which meant I did a lot of observing, and waiting, which is probably why I became a writer (your neuroses shape your vocation, guys, so it’s not bad to be fucked up). However, my beliefs around this have changed a lot…

the life-changing magic of being direct - by Ava

related reading