too much joy is exactly enough - by maja - velvet noise

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First, a warm thank you and welcome to those that are new. My last essay some parts of you only emerge for certain people travelled further than I ever could have imagined. When I publish, sometimes the strangest and most wonderful thing happens: the ache that was once private returns to me in a new, more beautiful way refracted through others. To those who are new here, thank you for joining this unfolding conversation. My friend recently told me that whenever he feels happy, all he can think about is how it’s going to be taken away. The shadow of predicted loss eats into the actual moment, like a candle trembling under a draft. I recognise this in myself. I sometimes half-eat happiness, nibbling instead of biting, suspicious it might vanish if I savour it fully. But I want to learn to better sink my teeth into it. I want joy to feel like peaches and pomegranates: sticky, luscious, childlike, a reminder that bliss is our default state before we learned to distrust it. It’s a strange f

First, a warm thank you and welcome to those that are new. My last essay some parts of you only emerge for certain people travelled further than I ever could have imagined. To those who are new here, thank you for joining this unfolding conversation. My friend recently told me that whenever he feels happy, all he can think about is how it’s going to be taken away. The shadow of predicted loss eats into the actual moment, like a candle trembling under a draft. I recognise this in myself. I sometimes half-eat happiness, nibbling instead of biting, suspicious it might vanish if I savour it…

too much joy is exactly enough - by maja - velvet noise

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