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My Dating Heuristic — LessWrong

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I don’t have to practice being afraid of a lion charging at me—my instincts tell me to run. But when I started dating, my instincts weren’t that reliable when attempting to attract a partner. They needed to be recalibrated. Author Matthew Hussey talks about retraining your (likely faulty) dating instincts in his book Love Life: One of the love life myths is that somehow love is a special realm where we can be guided by instinct. But this assumes that in childhood we all developed great instincts for every situation. [As an example], in the early stages of attraction…there’s a temptation to just surrender to the feeling, clear our schedule, and see if they’re game to fly to Paris together. [This is all for a person who] wasn’t even on our radar a month ago. We give in to our romantic instincts and rocket into a realm of fantasy romance. This instinctive, emotional reaction is similar to what author Daniel Kahneman calls System 1 thinking in his book Thinking, Fast and Slow. System 1 thi

x My Dating Heuristic — LessWrong Relationships (Interpersonal) Practical Frontpage 27 My Dating Heuristic by Declan Molony 21st May 2024 3 min read 4 27 I don’t have to practice being afraid of a lion charging at me—my instincts tell me to run. But when I started dating, my instincts weren’t that reliable when attempting to attract a partner. They needed to be recalibrated. Author Matthew Hussey talks about retraining your (likely faulty) dating instincts in his book Love Life : One of the love life myths is that somehow love is a special realm where we can be guided by instinct. But this ass

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