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the agony of eros: dating - by Ava - bookbear express

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This is the first post in a series where I explore how love hurts and why. I’ve been in a relationship for a while, but before that I dated for several years and experienced it both as 1) really fun and 2) terrible psychological torment. Lately dating videos on TikTok, Rethinking Sex by Christine Emba, this post by Oliver Traldi, The Agony of Eros by Byung-Chul Han, and Why Love Hurts by Eva Illouz have made me think about why people seem to find the modern dating market so unsatisfying. I’ve noticed that most people have a hard time 1) optimizing for and 2) implicitly/explicitly asking for what they actually want. Here’s my perception of how dating works for most (heteronormative, I’m not claiming to have insight into anything else) people in their 20s: You use Hinge/Raya or serendipitously meet someone cute at party. You go on a first date, probably at a cafe, a bar, or dinner, and talk to the person for 1 to 4 hours. You learn about shared interests, job, which college they went to,

the agony of eros: dating Ava Apr 30, 2022 519 16 65 Share Helen Frankenthaler, Madame Butterfly, 2000 This is the first post in a series where I explore how love hurts and why. I’ve been in a relationship for a while, but before that I dated for several years and experienced it both as 1) really fun and 2) terrible psychological torment. Lately dating videos on TikTok, Rethinking Sex by Christine Emba, this post by Oliver Traldi, The Agony of Eros by Byung-Chul Han, and Why Love Hurts by Eva Illouz have made me think about why people seem to find the modern dating market so unsatisfying. I’ve

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