flâneur

Mandy Xu

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on the atlas — 71

highlights — 282

  • I was a fresh graduate, and had no idea how long I’d last in new york city, so my apartment was in a perennial state of chaotic transience. The only thing I knew for certain was that the overwhelming majority of my time would be spent in an office and my home furnishing decisions reflected that reality. I prioritized affordability over longevity and ease over aesthetics so naturally, my room was more of a bare bones cave to sleep in than a place I enjoyed spending time in.
    WHAT'S IN MY APARTMENT - by tina zhang - digital tinz
  • Rather than seeing resistance as an unbearable obstacle, treat it as a sign that you’re doing something hard and a space to examine your intention. A reminder that worthwhile things are never easy. And every moment of resistance is an opportunity to prove that you can do scary things.
    doing things that scare you - by tina zhang - digital tinz
  • noticing color on a commute home. try picking a color (blue) and seeing how many blue things you can find
    so what do we all mean by 'slow living'? - by tina zhang
  • yutori, which strives for spaciousness as the ideal. There’s a focus on daily well-being that comes from having time on your side and creating space for peace of mind. I like spaciousness rather than slowness because it feels like an intention rather than an aspiration.
    so what do we all mean by 'slow living'? - by tina zhang
  • In A Creative Act, Rick Rubin describes how listening is one of the only pure forms of staying present. Whereas the other senses have mechanisms for turning off (like closing your eyes or mouth), your ears are an immutable witness to everything around you.
    so what do we all mean by 'slow living'? - by tina zhang
  • They say to become a better artist you have to surround yourselves with conversations that draw you closer to art. In order to better connect and appreciate and discern, we have to shift the way we consume, the way we reflect, and the way we make up our minds.
    no original thoughts club - by tina zhang - digital tinz
  • Developing ‘good’ taste takes courage — but also trial and error. We have to put ourselves through a type of rejection therapy in being willing to be wrong (and have bad taste, and look stupid) in order for us to cultivate what we actually like. It takes having the space to reflect on what we like and don’t like, what felt organic, what embarrassed us, and why.
    no original thoughts club - by tina zhang - digital tinz
  • The other day, on the phone with Ian, I accidentally described something as “demure” in passing. I immediately cringed, aghast that I now had to edit my personal lexicon just to not self-identify as chronically online. And it’s not just our peers, but our coworkers, the brands we shop at, the public figures we admire are all collectively leaning into internet culture to the point of oversaturation. In the words of dan brooks, “we all speak phone”.
    no original thoughts club - by tina zhang - digital tinz
  • This is by design, chaykla observes — or in an age-old tech adage, a feature not a bug. It’s part of the broader theory of platform decay or more colloquially known as “enshittification”: over time, companies seek profitability and shareholder value at the expense of their users, creating products with less and less bang for their buck.
    no original thoughts club - by tina zhang - digital tinz
  • i think part of wanting to experience a curated city is scarcity — this idea that if you’re only in mexico city once you want it to count. and if you only have 48 hours you want to see the version of mexico city in your head and on your tiktok feeds.
    in pursuit of an uncurated life - by tina zhang
  • when i was in mexico city last month, i made an effort to experience what i called an “uncurated” life: eat local cuisine without pulling out google maps, go to museums that aren’t the frida kahlo exhibit, generally rely less on reviews and more on happenstance.
    in pursuit of an uncurated life - by tina zhang
  • while i understand this thought process, it makes me question why we feel the need to prove to ourselves we have extreme levels of discipline. why are we not taught to cultivate the trust within ourselves to know that at the end of the day we all have the grit to make our lives the fullest, brightest, bounciness existence possible?
    how disciplined are you? - by emily north - angel cake
  • i’ve noticed lately an integral form of social currency has been signals of discipline. how little you shop, how much you sleep, how much you save, how many times a week you work out, how many books you read, how miniscule your screentime is.
    how disciplined are you? - by emily north - angel cake
  • The idea here is to familiarize yourself with the target audience, the purpose of the product, and what it’s out to solve.
    Delivering a roadmap a few weeks into the PM job
  • i roll my eyes and think of the girl with long bleach blonde hair who would always say yes to drinking anything straight out of a bottle in the back of a car and how instead i’m now someone who older women tell they would look beautiful pregnant.
    i wish it was halloween every weekend - by emily north
  • A really useful thing, but for me one that will probably only lead to more and deeper turtles, until I finally get to a place, where like in the child’s “why game,” either God or “leave me alone” is invoked and I’m left both fully informed, yet knowing little more.
    LA without a car (part 2) - Chris Arnade Walks the World
  • I’m going to piss off a lot of my readers, who’ve read my past work, when I suggest maybe the answer is we need to rethink how we are dealing with our drug problem. Maybe we need to stigmatize drug use again. Not the drug user, but the drugs themselves. Compassion for the person, but not the action. Maybe we’ve become a society and culture too dependent on medication, both legal and illegal, for emotional comfort in our brutally competitve and individualistic society, and so we’ve made it too easy to get those drugs. Maybe we need to rethink our own culture that more and more sees drug use as …
    Walking South LA - Chris Arnade Walks the World
  • A growing and absurd centralized regulatory mindset, that sees human flourishing as dirty and unsafe, that seems determined to wring out the last drops of any soul, coupled with a (rational or not) mistrust of the residents to treat new things with respect is resulting in our cities being frozen in time.
    Why the US can't have nice things
  • The high-regulation part of the US is usually couched in the language of safety, but it’s really about not allowing organic growth, which is messy, but people being people, results in things the majority really wants.
    Why the US can't have nice things
  • To get big-brained about it, something like La Sombrita could only happen in a high-regulation/low-trust society like the US. In every other variation (low regulation/high trust, high regulation/high trust, low regulation/low trust) you get either larger public works without fear of vandalism or misuse (a proper bus shelter), or like in Quito (a lower regulation society) you get natural ad hoc bottom-up solutions.
    Why the US can't have nice things
  • What does it mean to be central to your identity? I could drag out long quotes from Aristotle, Kierkegaard, Geertz, but the simpler explanation is it’s something you could put on your tombstone. It’s how you see yourself, and how you want the rest of the world to see you and remember you.
    America does not have a good food culture
  • it’s about a communitarian versus individualistic lifestyle, with the US having chosen a policy path emphasizing self-sufficiency and convenience, and Europe being more focused on the communal good and restraint.
    US is better than Europe! - Chris Arnade Walks the World
  • When most people talk about Europe’s culture legacy, and superiority, they point to cathedrals, museums, and such. But it’s not about the physical (although it makes the stage more dramatic), it’s about the work/life balance. About third spaces that encourage being around people, in a way that’s deeper than a brutal transactionalism. US is about the individual, to a hyper degree. Everyone is so focused on being emancipated from everything, freed from any “outdated” obligations, that they end up in an empty loneliness.
    Europe is Healthier than US - Chris Arnade Walks the World
  • Friendship is vastly undertheorized as compared to romantic relationships, but they’re just as important: they affect our quality of life in the most fundamental ways. Friendship is an entry point to everything: work, romance, sense of self, and the desire to contribute and care. Our friends teach us how to communicate and what to value. Without strong friendships, it’s difficult to properly orient ourselves in the world.
    friends shape your identity - by Ava - bookbear express
  • To me, relinquishing an important friendship is literally giving up a piece of your identity and history. We store ourselves in others; they make us whole.
    friends shape your identity - by Ava - bookbear express
  • Now, that is the magic that exists in a dance between two people. A dance that can’t be predicted or over-engineered, but slowly intuited over time. I wish we could’ve talked for far longer! I want to hear you say more. Kind of beautiful, right? That even one or two exchanges between the right people might alter the course of a life.
    good conversations have emergent properties - by Nix 🕊
  • It’s gotten better over time in ways I can’t even articulate. Both a function of wider friendships and greater maturity. That might be the closest feeling to pure joy — when you realize what you’ve been searching for actually exists and was seeking you too.
    good conversations have emergent properties - by Nix 🕊
  • It sounds like basic advice, but you’d be surprised how many conversations are incredibly transactional. Someone wants something from you, or you desire something from them. There’s no delight or play or intuition. I think the best conversationalists, and this extends to interviewers, are truly curious about the vivid interiority of another person. Where they seek inspiration from. What their neuroticisms are. What they’re captivated by. We’d be better served remembering that everyone has their own world, whole, beyond you — and a conversation the precipice to the rest of it.
    good conversations have emergent properties - by Nix 🕊
  • When people talk about something they love, their whole voice changes. Noticing this takes genuine involvement and participation in someone else’s state of mind.
    good conversations have emergent properties - by Nix 🕊
  • What I’ve been feeling recently: we have the agency to make conversations better. For most people, self-expression through conversation is hard. It’s hard to make conversations feel safe and sacred. It takes effort to be attentive and involved. But that difficulty isn’t insurmountable, and it’s a shame to think of it as such. There is great loneliness inherent to being human. It takes great imagination and faith to believe in the alternative: that every conversation represents an open door. A possibility.
    good conversations have emergent properties - by Nix 🕊
  • This search for aliveness in dialogue with others is central to the search of any human’s life. It is more than just language. It’s the search for a moment of being truly seen and understood. At the same time, excavating something out of yourself that you didn’t even know was there.
    good conversations have emergent properties - by Nix 🕊
  • When was the last time you had a great conversation? A conversation that wasn’t just two intersecting monologues, but when you overheard yourself saying things you never knew you knew, that you heard yourself receiving from somebody words that found places within you that you thought you had lost?
    good conversations have emergent properties - by Nix 🕊
  • We are taught to aspire to prestige, taught to fetishize the idea of the thing instead of enjoying the thing itself. If you raise kids that way, you end up with a generation that prefers porn to sex. It’s Narcissus mesmerized by his own reflection: you’d rather watch yourself looking good than actually live. Life is not something you perform for the benefit of other people. When you perform for other people, you rob yourself of the chance to relate to them in a real way. Everything collapses inwards, becomes solipsistic: you and the camera, you and the mirror, you and the void. But we need the…
    entry points - by Ava - bookbear express
  • It’s funny to see now that what I find endearing about others is exactly their inability to be cool about things. I like people who care too much, who can’t stop caring at a reasonable interval. The best compliment I can give, and the one I give most to people I love, is: “You have a big heart.”
    it's okay to care too much - by Ava - bookbear express
  • I’ve always cared too much about other people. When I was in elementary school, I wanted to hug my teachers every morning. I was so attached to them.
    it's okay to care too much - by Ava - bookbear express
  • A while back my friend said that her therapist mentioned that she might be addicted to love. She found it to be a distressing thought. In turn, I reflected that I am not close to a single person who doesn’t have an obsessive, heavy relationship with love. I know that there are other people out in the world who think there are more important things, and I find that to be a funny thought.
    it's okay to care too much - by Ava - bookbear express
  • Some of my close friends are gregarious while others are shy and restrained, but all of them have big feelings and an incredibly complex inner world. If you opened them up and reached in you would never get to the bottom.
    it's okay to care too much - by Ava - bookbear express
  • For example, most people seem to consider the ability to draw as some kind of innate quality, like being tall. In fact, most people who "can draw" like drawing, and have spent many hours doing it; that's why they're good at it. Likewise, popular isn't just something you are or you aren't, but something you make yourself. The main reason nerds are unpopular is that they have other things to think about. Their attention is drawn to books or the natural world, not fashions and parties.
    Why Nerds are Unpopular
  • Nerds serve two masters. They want to be popular, certainly, but they want even more to be smart. And popularity is not something you can do in your spare time, not in the fiercely competitive environment of an American secondary school.
    Why Nerds are Unpopular
  • “This is the proudest and happiest I’ve ever felt, and the most creatively fulfilled and free I’ve ever been.” In just one sentence, she described exactly what I was searching for—a feeling of fulfillment and freedom in my work.
    Why Taylor Swift has become my muse - by Rohini Vibha
  • Sometimes we part ways with people because our lives travel on in different directions, sometimes we grow together in happy symbiosis. Almost always, even through mere contact or presence, you change another person and they change you irrevocably. I still have the books, the ideas, the mindsets, I adopted from people in my life across time and space even if our time together is sealed into the past. We are all just collections of everyone we’ve ever loved.
    all these things that I've done - by Nix 🕊
  • Even being on the periphery is highly valuable. e.g., if you want to learn from great leaders you don’t currently have access to, you could volunteer to usher for conventions/talks they would attend, or if you want to discover how someone thinks, listen to their podcasts/read their work often
    all these things that I've done - by Nix 🕊
  • Inspiration is perishable and life goes by fast. Inaction is a particularly insidious type of risk.
    What I Wish Someone Had Told Me - Sam Altman
  • Take risks on high-potential people with a fast rate of improvement. Look for evidence of getting stuff done in addition to intelligence.
    What I Wish Someone Had Told Me - Sam Altman
  • Inspiration is perishable and life goes by fast. Inaction is a particularly insidious type of risk.
    all these things that I've done - by Nix 🕊
  • Our character is the moving average of our actions (a la Ted Chiang), we must consistently focus on the betterment of forward actions, and the metric is always moving
    all these things that I've done - by Nix 🕊
  • you only need to meet one or two right people or do one or two right things. Take the pressure off of doing everything perfectly and instead focus on the areas with most surface area/leverage
    all these things that I've done - by Nix 🕊
  • when i look at people i know who are older than me, only the ones who subscribe to these predictions seem to be affected by them. so i can’t help but wonder - what if none of these prophecies are actually destiny, and the reason they come to pass is because we believe in them? what if we could change the future simply by believing otherwise? of course faith alone does not accomplish anything - i don’t believe in “manifesting”, and i’m not a superstitious person - but faith is still valuable because it serves as the basis for all the work that must come afterwards
    prophecies - by vincent huang - a slice of my mind
  • here are some of the prophecies on my mind these days: that it’s very hard to make friends after college (my friends who believe this tend to not put much effort into meeting new people, whereas other people i know tend to go to more events and search harder and find more people they like). that you stop learning once you have a job (my friends who agree with this tend to not bother learning much outside of what their jobs teach them, whereas my friends who still believe in learning tend to continue reading and experimenting and building projects in their free time). that life in general peaks…
    prophecies - by vincent huang - a slice of my mind
  • p: i would say there are three main components. you actually just mentioned two of them: one is people and another is creative work, like art or research. the third one is fulfilling obligations. they all contribute to my sense of meaning in different ways - social things help me feel a sense of connection, creative work helps me feel like i’ve expressed myself, and obligations make me feel like i have weight in the world, like i’m not unbearably light
    i wish we’d grown up on the same advice - by vincent huang