My Greatest Fear (Wrestling with Faith and Fate)
"If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end: if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth - only wishful thinking and despair.” - C.S. Lewis
This has been a difficult piece to write. Everything has been for the past few months. It was all stuckness and straining, fighting and grinding, no flow and no ease. I can finish this now, I think, because I feel some light. Faith has returned. Back in October, I spent a weekend solving puzzles and fighting with foam swords in the forest of Connecticut (role-play that was not a LARP but kind of LARP-y). On the second day, we sat in a clearing with a group of elders when one of them asked: “What is your greatest fear?” That hit me like a train. I felt an electric shiver across the back of…
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