flâneur

obsession - by Ava - bookbear express

ava.substack.com · 624 words · saved by 1 readers

You should never let me become obsessed with you because one day I’ll abruptly exit my own mind like a dolphin popping out of water and in the future if someone asks me about the period of time when I thought about you all the time I’ll shrug and say, “Yeah, I went briefly insane.” But maybe that’s fine? To be honest I wouldn’t worry about it because I don’t think I’m very prone to obsession anymore. I shed one version of it when I was in my teens and now I’m shedding another, and soon I suspect I won’t be particularly obsessive at all. I’ll just be slightly more focused on my hobbies than most people are. I think I’ll miss obsession a lot: it feels better than almost anything except the moments when I’m doing yoga or successfully meditating or on psychedelics when I fall right out of my body and suddenly remember that I’m getting everything right even when I’m getting everything wrong. It’s so intense and heady. It’s hard to explain how much it comforts me.

You should never let me become obsessed with you because one day I’ll abruptly exit my own mind like a dolphin popping out of water and in the future if someone asks me about the period of time when I thought about you all the time I’ll shrug and say, “Yeah, I went briefly insane.” But maybe that’s fine? To be honest I wouldn’t worry about it because I don’t think I’m very prone to obsession anymore. I shed one version of it when I was in my teens and now I’m shedding another, and soon I suspect I won’t be particularly obsessive at all. I’ll just be slightly more focused on my hobbies than…

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