flâneur

For people who have been inside impossible situations and people who have told them they can't go on like this

nataliercargill.substack.com · 1,844 words · saved by 1 readers

You can't just "can't"

I was standing on a balcony in Berlin, at a party, when I fell to my knees and sobbed. The sobs would not stop. It was embarrassing to be crying, loudly, alone, on the second story balcony of a dense urban area. This was Berlin, not California. I wanted someone to comfort me. Or at least, I wanted someone to sit with me as proof I was normal-sad and not deranged-sad. But I didn’t know anyone at the party. I hardly knew anyone in the city. I was only in Berlin to get away from my sister. When I say to someone “my sister is very unwell and I’ve been trying to help”, it is almost…

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