flâneur

Where to go to sleep after all of this?

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Notes from the death bed of my grandmother

Grandma dreamed her face had been paralyzed by a stroke. Waking in the deep of the night, sure her cranium was flooding with blood, she was unable to calm herself down. “I had to walk into the hallway and look at my mouth and chin in the mirror. To make sure they were not paralyzed! Then I stood there, like this, with my arms raised above my head.” She is laughing when she tells me this, showing me with arms lifted how ridiculous she had been, standing there counting to ten as the rooms lay dark and silent around her. This was in the summer of 2016. All afternoon, we had been talking on…

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