flâneur

i'm 23 and annoying - by jessica dai

letterstomyfriends.substack.com · 1,844 words · saved by 1 readers

In the last month or so I moved out of the east coast for good after five years; bleached my hair and dyed it pink; got my first tattoo and fourth piercing (or like seventh depending on if you count repiercings); went to Europe for two weeks; spent four days in the woods with no service or wifi. (Would you believe me if I told you that all of those things had been planned before I left a three and a half year relationship?) These days I feel like I’m on a precipice of some sort, like in some way I’ve been living all my life to get here. The conductor’s just raised their baton. The diver’s at the edge of the 15m platform, she’s turned around, she’s bouncing just on the balls of her feet, heels suspended over open air. The timer’s been set and I’m about to launch into a five minute speech that will determine the course of— —well what, exactly? And it’s in this sense that I feel like I’m on the edge of something. I’m only going to live the next six years once. We only get one show for the

In the last month or so I moved out of the east coast for good after five years; bleached my hair and dyed it pink; got my first tattoo and fourth piercing (or like seventh depending on if you count repiercings); went to Europe for two weeks; spent four days in the woods with no service or wifi. (Would you believe me if I told you that all of those things had been planned before I left a three and a half year relationship?) These days I feel like I’m on a precipice of some sort, like in some way I’ve been living all my life to get here. The conductor’s just raised their baton. The diver’s…

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