flâneur

Crossing the cringe minefield - by Cate Hall

usefulfictions.substack.com · 1,971 words · saved by 2 readers

Say you want to improve your life — to become happier, more helpful to others, more desirable, whatever you want. Given that this is a big world, with many possibilities, there are lots of strategies for self-improvement available to you. Which strategies will you pick first? Because motivation is tightly linked to emotion, you will first choose the strategies that are emotionally comfortable for you in particular. Perhaps you are an energetic, rugged person, who enjoys autonomy and competence, so you will choose a difficult exercise routine that others would shrink from. It’s effortful, but it’s emotionally satisfying, and that satisfaction will propel you through the difficulties. Or perhaps you are a person who values novelty and adventure, so you choose an abrupt move to a different city, where you can find new work and a new friend group — the thrill of newness will give you fuel to deal with all of the anxiety and uncertainty involved. Then, once you’ve exhausted the strategies t

Say you want to improve your life — to become happier, more helpful to others, more desirable, whatever you want. Given that this is a big world, with many possibilities, there are lots of strategies for self-improvement available to you. Which strategies will you pick first? Because motivation is tightly linked to emotion, you will first choose the strategies that are emotionally comfortable for you in particular. Perhaps you are an energetic, rugged person, who enjoys autonomy and competence, so you will choose a difficult exercise routine that others would shrink from. It’s effortful,…

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