Feedback eaters and how to spot them
There’s a specific genre of person who uses feedback to subsidize their emotional recklessness by placing the burden on others to tell them whenever they have done something wrong instead of reflecting on the patterns in their lives and making appropriate changes. The hostile version of this even uses feedback as a vehicle to assert their own superiority through conflict. I call these people “feedback eaters” because they have a great appetite for feedback, but when you give it to them it seems to enter a black hole. This can look like: high disagreeableness conflict-seeking positioning themself as the reasonable, peaceful, open to negotiate one (and subtly casting you as the dramatic, immature one) actively soliciting feedback when the situation doesn’t call for it, or you two aren’t actually that close There’s nuance to this—feedback from others is valuable and if you never receive it then you can’t learn effectively. But if you make your ability to take feedback a point of pride or
Feedback eaters and how to spot them When your feedback goes nowhere Carmen Nov 04, 2025 65 8 5 Share The monster “Charlotte” from the anime Puella Magi Madoka Magica. Also known as the “dessert witch,” she has a voracious appetite, and her description tragically reads: “Though she is capable of creating infinite amounts of any dessert she desires, she is unable to make the cheese that she loves most.” There’s a specific genre of person who uses feedback to subsidize their emotional recklessness by placing the burden on others to tell them whenever they have done something wrong instead of ref
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