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How do you decide if you should move on from a relationship? | Aeon Essays

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Contemporary wisdom says that happiness is the measure of a marriage. But is that a harmful way of judging relationships?

It is not uncommon in my practice to hear people wonder if they married the wrong person. It’s a painful reality to consider, and something I thought about in my current marriage in the early years after the birth of our twin sons. At some point in that era, my wife and I fell into a disconsolate rhythm of sniping and arguing, an activity that often followed us to the dinner tables of our friends. For those worried about their own relationships, we provided a cozy bed of schadenfreude for them to rest their weary heads upon. The long-term strengths I now admire, need and value in my wife, 30…

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