flâneur

keep yourself to yourself - by ayushi thakkar

ayushithakkar.substack.com · 1,003 words · saved by 1 readers

i used to think vulnerability was a shortcut to connection. that the more you shared, the more people would understand you, respect you, maybe even love you. and so i gave people access—sometimes too much, too soon. i let people in under the assumption that closeness meant safety. but the thing about handing people the full, unfiltered version of yourself is that not everyone knows how to handle it with care. there’s a fine line between being open and being an open target. the more people think they know you, the more they think they can define you. and once you become defined in their eyes, you stop being a person with depth and contradictions and start being a fixed idea. the friend who “always overthinks.” the coworker who’s “too ambitious.” the girl who “never shuts up about her dreams.” labels, once assigned, are nearly impossible to shake. and suddenly, you’re stuck living in other people’s narratives about you, whether you like them or not. Subscribe people love to say, “just be

i used to think vulnerability was a shortcut to connection. that the more you shared, the more people would understand you, respect you, maybe even love you. and so i gave people access—sometimes too much, too soon. i let people in under the assumption that closeness meant safety. but the thing about handing people the full, unfiltered version of yourself is that not everyone knows how to handle it with care. there’s a fine line between being open and being an open target. the more people think they know you, the more they think they can define you. and once you become defined in their eyes,…

saved by

related reading