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What it’s like to be married to a dying man « The Story's Story

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My wife, Bess, wrote this. For more context, see “I am dying of squamous cell carcinoma, and the treatments that might save me are just out of reach.” Jake is sitting on the couch beside me when he asks, “What’s it like being married to a dying man?” At first, I think I’ll be able to answer easily. I’ve been answering it implicitly for the last seven months, although I didn’t really know he was going to die, soon, until Friday, July 21—three days ago. I’ve been keeping a journal, so I’ve had a place to record the difficult, confusing, and sometimes banal details, like the pitch of the feeding tube beep, the smell of the hospital rooms, the myriad of administrative frustrations. But when Jake asks me what it’s like being married to a man who won’t be here in six months, for his 40th birthday, I’m speechless. I open and close my mouth a few times, because “what’s it like?” isn’t just about loss, although it partially concerns that, and it isn’t about regret, although that’s part of it to

July 24, 2023 By Bess Stillman in Personal Tags: personal , Stories 5 Comments My wife, Bess, wrote this. For more context, see “ I am dying of squamous cell carcinoma, and the treatments that might save me are just out of reach .” Jake is sitting on the couch beside me when he asks, “What’s it like being married to a dying man?” At first, I think I’ll be able to answer easily. I’ve been answering it implicitly for the last seven months, although I didn’t really know he was going to die, soon, until Friday, July 21—three days ago. I’ve been keeping a journal, so I’ve had a place to

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