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Forever is such a short, long time

bessstillman.substack.com · 4,038 words · saved by 1 readers

Jake and I look at each other and say, “I will love you forever.” But Jake is dying of a squamous cell carcinoma, so while “forever” is supposed to be a very long time, our actual time horizon is so very short. We married on May 24, 2023, the night before a huge surgery that was supposed to cure his recurrent squamous cell carcinoma of the tongue. Our impromptu wedding was in the courtyard of our apartment building, beside the empty pool, and underneath a second-floor stranger’s patio; we’d chosen the spot because those neighbors had had fairy lights strung up for ambience. In the background, in lieu of a string quartet, were jokes and distorted laughter from a drag queen hosting bingo across the street at an open-air bar called The Hot Chick. Our friend-slash-quickly-ordained-online-officiant Smetana had to raise her voice to recite the ChatGPT-composed ceremony (she did a beautiful job). We didn’t have rings to exchange because we hadn’t yet bought any: Jake’s surgery had been schedu

Forever is such a short, long time Jake and I get married the night before a surgery he might not survive. When our lives are so short, what does a promise of "forever" really mean? Bess Stillman Oct 10, 2023 47 2 5 Share Jake and I look at each other and say, “I will love you forever.” But Jake is dying of a squamous cell carcinoma, so while “forever” is supposed to be a very long time, our actual time horizon is so very short. We married on May 24, 2023, the night before a huge surgery that was supposed to cure his recurrent squamous cell carcinoma of the tongue. Our impromptu wedding was in

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