✳flâneur — a map of the web's best reading

Intimacy Constraints - Rob Henderson's Newsletter

robkhenderson.com · 92 words · saved by 1 readers

It’s common in romantic relationships to feel an intense and pleasurable “buzz” early on. Overwhelming passion. Which slowly dissipates over time. At least to some degree. What explains this? A few years ago, I saw Rolf Degen on Twitter describe The Social Dimension of Sex as “the most profound and stirring book about sex ever written.” Degen posts a ton of interesting stuff online, so I immediately looked up the book online to buy it. At about $50, though, it was a little too pricey for a second-year PhD student. Fortunately, I found a copy in the Cambridge University library. According to the library stamp inside the book, I was the first person to check out the book since 2005. In The Social Dimension of Sex, Roy Baumeister and Dianne Tice cover a lot of ground on sexual psychology. One of the most interesting sections discussed the idea of resource constraints on intimacy. And how this might also lead people to interpret natural phenomena as proof that their love for their partner

Intimacy Constraints The social dimension of sex Rob Henderson Jul 13, 2025 ∙ Paid 69 27 13 Share Subscribe Share Give a gift subscription It’s common in romantic relationships to feel an intense and pleasurable “buzz” early on. Overwhelming passion. Which slowly dissipates over time. At least to some degree. What explains this? There’s a fascinating psychological explanation for why even the best relationships can sometimes feel flat. This one insight completely changed how I think about long-term attraction. This post is for paid subscribers Subscribe Already a paid subscriber? Sign in

Explore this link on the map →

related reading