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Relationship Handbook - by George Pransky | Derek Sivers

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Best philosophy of love relationships I’ve ever found. Like meditation teaches you that moods pass, this experienced marriage counselor says this applies to relationship communication as well. When angry or insecure, don’t vent, don’t share that. Let the feeling pass. Your anger doesn’t reveal some real truth. Everyone in a romantic relationship should read this. Insecurity is the source of distress and all counterproductive behavior. Thoughts of insecurity periodically pass through our minds. If we dismiss these thoughts, we will remain secure, our ideal selves: easygoing, joyful, compassionate and wise. If we harbor our thoughts of insecurity, we end up in a state of distress. Analyzing problems makes you an expert on your problems. It doesn’t change you. Counselors ask clients to list their problems. This step makes all the problems vivid in the clients’ minds, thereby lowering their spirits, as they delve into each problem in detail. Problems then seem so formidable that clients

Insecurity is the source of distress and all counterproductive behavior. Thoughts of insecurity periodically pass through our minds. If we dismiss these thoughts, we will remain secure, our ideal selves: easygoing, joyful, compassionate and wise. If we harbor our thoughts of insecurity, we end up in a state of distress. Analyzing problems makes you an expert on your problems. It doesn’t change you. Counselors ask clients to list their problems. This step makes all the problems vivid in the clients’ minds, thereby lowering their spirits, as they delve into each problem in detail. Problems then

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