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Empathetic Reappraisal

nickcammarata.com · 3,734 words · saved by 1 readers

This is part of an experiment to write in the open, even with topics I would previously have only written about privately I'd like to share a simple method I created to help me empathize with people that I may naturally oversimplify. In practice, it's been most helpful when I first meet someone impressive or untouchably fun and attractive. In these cases I have limited information — a Wikipedia article listing their wins or a few minutes of flirtation in flattering light. I used to automatically process this uncertainty by placing them on a pedestal. Instead of seeing that my shallow model of them was filled with holes, I’d plug the holes with positive things. The first time I noticed this was when I was sixteen. I had just gotten my first cellphone and l got a call saying that gazillionaire superinventor Dean Kamen liked my work and was wondering if I wanted to spend an afternoon together at his lab, Deka Research. It was the first time I had been given an invitation like that — it wa

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