flâneur

The hidden costs of masking for women with ADHD and autism | Aeon Essays

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is a clinical psychologist based in Atlanta who specialises in neurodiversity and emotion regulation. She is the author of Allow Me to Interrupt: A Psychologist Reveals the Emotional Truth Behind Women’s ADHD (2025). Edited byPam Weintraub Listen to this essay 22 minute listen ‘Do you have the 20 bucks you promised me for gas?’ I twisted the key in the ignition. The staccato heaving of my electric blue Chrysler PT Cruiser competed with Anita’s rustling through her floppy purse. ‘Ugh, I must’ve forgotten it. Surely, that’s OK. I’ll just – ’ I started gasping for air. After weeks of forcing a state of calm collectedness, my body finally rebelled. My voice: ‘Surely that’s OK?!’ (First, mocking.) Then, loud, raspy and unrecognisable: ‘It’s not fucking OK.’ From my blurry periphery, Anita’s arm stretched to touch my shoulder. She often did that to ground someone. I watched my arm swat hers and yank the cushioned steering wheel. The fuzzy purple dice hanging from the rearview mirror that my

‘Do you have the 20 bucks you promised me for gas?’ I twisted the key in the ignition. The staccato heaving of my electric blue Chrysler PT Cruiser competed with Anita’s rustling through her floppy purse. ‘Ugh, I must’ve forgotten it. Surely, that’s OK. I’ll just – ’ I started gasping for air. After weeks of forcing a state of calm collectedness, my body finally rebelled. My voice: ‘Surely that’s OK?!’ (First, mocking.) Then, loud, raspy and unrecognisable: ‘It’s not fucking OK.’ From my blurry periphery, Anita’s arm stretched to touch my shoulder. She often did that to ground someone.…

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