If You're a Productive Person, Here's Why You Should K*ll Yourself
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If I was Ali Abdaal, I’d kill myself.
(and not just because he’s my successfuller and handsomer doppelganger) If I was Ali Abdaal, I’d kill myself. In fact, if you’re a fan of Ali’s, I think you should kill yourse— *cuck phone rings* Erm, yellow? Mhmm. Uh huh. You said what? S-suic*de?? Ew wtf, no.. … Ohhhhhhhhhh Ahem. My apologies. Allow me to back up a couple steps: When I was in college and they’d give us an assignment due in two weeks, I’d spend the first 13 days playing Spikeball in the daytime, Super Smash Bros. Melee in the evening, and topping off the night with a bespoke smorgasbord of artisanal grassfed YouTube…
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