flâneur

on feeling safe - by Ava - bookbear express

ava.substack.com · 1,258 words · saved by 1 readers

One of the most important things I’ve learned is that I want to be around people who make me feel psychologically safe. I think about this as safety versus appraisal—do you feel like you have space to experiment and make mistakes without fear of judgment, or do you feel like you’re always walking on eggshells? It’s impossible to avoid appraisal—we’re all constantly being judged in multiple parts of our lives—but if the only relationships in your life are critical relationships, you’re likely to be unhappy.

One of the most important things I’ve learned is that I want to be around people who make me feel psychologically safe. I think about this as safety versus appraisal—do you feel like you have space to experiment and make mistakes without fear of judgment, or do you feel like you’re always walking on eggshells? It’s impossible to avoid appraisal—we’re all constantly being judged in multiple parts of our lives—but if the only relationships in your life are critical relationships, you’re likely to be unhappy. My younger brother starts college in September. I was reflecting on what kind of…

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