Talking About Friendship - by Heather Havrilesky

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Earlier this week, Ava Huang from Bookbear Express asked me a bunch of great questions about friendship, and I wanted to share some of my answers here because I’ve been thinking a lot about the responsibilities of close friendship lately. People get tired of hearing this from me, but intimacy with others necessarily includes facing yourself, reckoning with what you truly desire, humbling yourself, noticing your bad habits, and observing your defense mechanisms. You have to be able to admit the many, many ways you fuck up and blame others and distance yourself every day in order to be a good friend to another flawed human being. You have to take responsibility for the fact that you are a fallible animal, ruled by huge emotions, and you’re never going to get it exactly right – never, ever, ever. When you surrender to that simple fact, it’s very romantic. And when two people surrender to it, watch out! Fireworks, shivers, lust, loyalty, optimism, joy, communion. Deep connections are every

Untitled (1960) by Dorothea Tanning Earlier this week, Ava Huang from Bookbear Express asked me a bunch of great questions about friendship, and I wanted to share some of my answers here because I’ve been thinking a lot about the responsibilities of close friendship lately. People get tired of hearing this from me, but intimacy with others necessarily includes facing yourself, reckoning with what you truly desire, humbling yourself, noticing your bad habits, and observing your defense mechanisms. You have to be able to admit the many, many ways you fuck up and blame others and distance…

Talking About Friendship - by Heather Havrilesky

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