Acting like emotions don't exist is a poor strategy
When we can talk about our emotions at work, we can address the actual substance of what’s actually going on. When we don’t feel valued, or feel angry at a co-worker or client, we don’t have to litigate this via a proxy battle. And most importantly, we don’t have to lie about who we are. Work can be part of our self-exploration, rather than a place where we sit behind a barrier, locked in an exhausting performance. But mostly we don’t do that. We have seemingly decided that feelings are dangerous. They need to be cordoned off in special rooms, and only discussed with certified professionals, or your closest friends. They certainly can’t be discussed in the workplace. When you’re furious at your boss because you don’t feel taken seriously, you can’t actually talk about that, even though it’s the most important thing. You have to fight a proxy battle instead—like, fume about whether the presentation’s slides have enough white space, or whether you’ve chosen the correct vendor—even though
I wrote this post with my friend Misha, who does coaching, consulting, and weird events. When we can talk about our emotions at work, we can address the actual substance of what’s actually going on. When we don’t feel valued, or feel angry at a co-worker or client, we don’t have to litigate this via a proxy battle. And most importantly, we don’t have to lie about who we are. Work can be part of our self-exploration, rather than a place where we sit behind a barrier, locked in an exhausting performance. But mostly we don’t do that. We have seemingly decided that feelings are dangerous.…
related reading
- feel your feelingsmindmine.substack.com
- Making Normal Conversations Better - by Sasha Chapinsashachapin.substack.com
- Emotional managementscattered-thoughts.net
- Why should you actually feel your emotions?bitsofwonder.substack.com
- feel your feelingsread.mindmine.xyz
- How to Ignore Your Emotions (while also thinking you're awesome at emotions) — LessWronglesswrong.com
- If You Have Writer's Block, Maybe You Should Stop Lyingsashachapin.substack.com
- Monday Seven No. 030 - by Yashar Nejatiyasharnejati.substack.com
- How to Ignore Your Emotions (while also thinking you're awesome at emotions) — LessWronglesswrong.com
- You're not burning out because you're tiredforum.effectivealtruism.org
- How to Ignore Your Emotions (while also thinking you're awesome at emotions) — LessWronglesswrong.com
- is work worship?nicoles.substack.com