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The Courage to Be Disliked - by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga | Derek Sivers

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Wow. A profound little philosophy book from Japan, communicating the psychology of Alfred Adler - a rival of Freud. Told as a conversation between an angry student and a patient teacher. A little book so good that I rushed home from other activities to keep reading it, and finished in a day. A surprisingly fresh perspective on how to live. (The “disliked” part is not the point, so don’t let the title distract you.) No experience is in itself a cause of our success or failure. Nothing is actually determined by those influences. We are not determined by our experiences, but by the meaning we give them. We determine our own lives according to the meaning we give to those past experiences. We do not suffer from the shock of our experiences - the so-called trauma - but instead we make out of them whatever suits our purposes. If he thinks, “I can’t __ because I was abused by my parents”, it’s because it is his goal to think that way. His real goal is “not going out.” He is creating anxiety

No experience is in itself a cause of our success or failure. Nothing is actually determined by those influences. We are not determined by our experiences, but by the meaning we give them. We determine our own lives according to the meaning we give to those past experiences. We do not suffer from the shock of our experiences - the so-called trauma - but instead we make out of them whatever suits our purposes. If he thinks, “I can’t __ because I was abused by my parents”, it’s because it is his goal to think that way. His real goal is “not going out.” He is creating anxiety and fear as his reas

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