flâneur

Pedestals prevent friendships. | Derek Sivers

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I was a struggling musician, with big ambitions but not much success, when I went to a music industry conference in Las Vegas to promote my music. I was nervous, but doing everything I could to make connections with the managers at all the big music companies. I attended every panel of experts, noting everyone’s name, and approaching the stage afterwards to introduce myself. I had these people up on a pedestal. I was terrified of them. The stakes were high. These were the people who could make my career. It was mentally and emotionally exhausting. So during lunch I went out to the pool and stuck my feet in the water, just to silently retreat. Some dude sat next to me and did the same. He said, “I see you’ve noticed the bikini girls, too.” I had. So we sat there, feet in the pool, talking about those girls over there, how weird Las Vegas is, how his friend was up all night gambling, and other random chit-chat. He was a really cool dude — the rare kind I just click with right away. I ass

I was a struggling musician, with big ambitions but not much success, when I went to a music industry conference in Las Vegas to promote my music. I was nervous, but doing everything I could to make connections with the managers at all the big music companies. I attended every panel of experts, noting everyone’s name, and approaching the stage afterwards to introduce myself. I had these people up on a pedestal. I was terrified of them. The stakes were high. These were the people who could make my career. It was mentally and emotionally exhausting. So during lunch I went out to the pool and stu

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