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women see in third person - by Molly Mielke McCarthy

mindmud.substack.com · 976 words · saved by 1 readers

I can’t pinpoint exactly the moment I realized I was watching myself all the time. Suddenly I was hyper-aware of the way I filtered everything I thought, felt, and said through how you’d hear it. When my mental model of you was less complete, I felt extremely constrained in what I could say and as a result, said very little at all. “You’re quiet, aren’t you,” you said. Mm not really, I just wasn’t sure which parts of myself were safe to show. What Mary Oliver would call the soft animal inside me was sulking in the corner of my stomach, refusing to reveal what she wanted yet demanding she be paid attention to all the same. What the rational part of me wants is internal consistency — some might call it control. It’s a stringency around my self-image that I’ve grown more aware of over time. It makes me good at self-narration, brand-building, and “putting myself in others’ shoes,” but also stubborn, sensitive, and highly impressionable to the feelings of others. I know I’m not alone. In fa

women see in third person are you watching yourself through others' eyes? Molly Mielke McCarthy Jan 20, 2023 54 2 3 Share I can’t pinpoint exactly the moment I realized I was watching myself all the time. Suddenly I was hyper-aware of the way I filtered everything I thought, felt, and said through how you’d hear it. When my mental model of you was less complete, I felt extremely constrained in what I could say and as a result, said very little at all. “You’re quiet, aren’t you,” you said. Mm not really, I just wasn’t sure which parts of myself were safe to show. What Mary Oliver would call the

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