free - by Elaine - manners & mystery

As kids, we were taught to play nice, to try to get along with everyone. If your parents throw you a birthday party, you invite everyone in the class. God forbid any kid should feel left out. From childhood through my early twenties, I referred to everyone I met as “a friend” by default, even if we only ever spoke once or twice. The term was tossed about loosely. When we’re young, we hold expansive definitions of friendship. With experience, we become more discerning. Five months ago, I met someone at a party in Brooklyn, and since we lived near each other, we shared an Uber home and had a pleasant conversation that dipped into serious topics like our life goals, our romantic relationships, starting families. She was so different from me, much more of a rationalist, and I was intrigued by her wide interests. I was very open to becoming friends, but in subsequent interactions, it became clear the feelings weren’t mutual. At first, I thought I must’ve offended her. I thought, “Oh god, sh

As kids, we were taught to play nice, to try to get along with everyone. If your parents throw you a birthday party, you invite everyone in the class. God forbid any kid should feel left out. From childhood through my early twenties, I referred to everyone I met as “a friend” by default, even if we only ever spoke once or twice. The term was tossed about loosely. When we’re young, we hold expansive definitions of friendship. With experience, we become more discerning. Five months ago, I met someone at a party in Brooklyn, and since we lived near each other, we shared an Uber home and had a ple