tryna heal up type shit - anj’s Substack

writing and posting this because my therapist canceled on my 6:45am appointment because she was double-booked and it sent me into a spiral because ain’t no way anybody else is waking up at 6:45am. tired fuck. it’s okay though i forgive her. i don’t really have a choice. “self-care sundays!” “mini-fridge restock!” “let’s make bath bombs!” no kys. i think it takes atleast 30 reels of those to genuinely realize that we can’t romanticize this disgusting thing that the world calls h e a l i n g. it’s not some fuckass instagram quote— it’s brutal, and confusing, and a straight-up war with yourself. this shit doesn’t come with a little ikea manual and it sure as hell doesn’t cure you right away. it rips you the fuck apart, forces you to confront every ugly thing you’ve ever tried to bury deep into your soul. and it makes you feel fucking apeshit. but let me tell you a fun little secret— if you’re in the thick of it and you think you’re about to die, you’re doing it right. i swear. or atleast

writing and posting this because my therapist canceled on my 6:45am appointment because she was double-booked and it sent me into a spiral because ain’t no way anybody else is waking up at 6:45am. tired fuck. it’s okay though i forgive her. i don’t really have a choice. “self-care sundays!” “mini-fridge restock!” “let’s make bath bombs!” no kys. i think it takes atleast 30 reels of those to genuinely realize that we can’t romanticize this disgusting thing that the world calls h e a l i n g. it’s not some fuckass instagram quote— it’s brutal, and confusing, and a straight-up war with yourself.