crushes - by Claire Wang - cold brew blog

I think a lot about the sort of “frames” of connections we have, or the source of consent as a fundamental way of deciding to do anything. Fundamentally, having a crush on someone is pushing the boundaries of the existing frame you have with someone. This is not at all a bad thing— after all, without pushing the boundaries of life, you will never get anywhere! no change! But I think the default “negative” connotations that come with pushing boundaries can apply here, even if it’s nothing physical. (Again, to be clear, the argument here is by no means that having a crush on someone is bad for the other person, but just that we should be more thoughtful about it.) Frames are the behaviors we adopt deal with the social, emotional, and moral dilemmas we all face in everyday life. And they exist individually as well as between people. I gave a talk about friendship on Sunday and someone asked me about male-female friendships and the sexual tension that can exist in them. My answer, which I

I think a lot about the sort of “frames” of connections we have, or the source of consent as a fundamental way of deciding to do anything. Fundamentally, having a crush on someone is pushing the boundaries of the existing frame you have with someone. This is not at all a bad thing— after all, without pushing the boundaries of life, you will never get anywhere! no change! But I think the default “negative” connotations that come with pushing boundaries can apply here, even if it’s nothing physical. (Again, to be clear, the argument here is by no means that having a crush on someone is bad for t