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If You're a Productive Person, Here's Why You Should K*ll Yourself

cuckfucius.substack.com · 4,001 words · saved by 2 readers

If I was Ali Abdaal, I’d kill myself.

If You're a Productive Person, Here's Why You Should K*ll Yourself Cuckfucius May 07, 2026 912 82 114 Share (and not just because he’s my successfuller and handsomer doppelganger) If I was Ali Abdaal, I’d kill myself. In fact, if you’re a fan of Ali’s, I think you should kill yourse— *cuck phone rings* Erm, yellow? Mhmm. Uh huh. You said what? S-suic*de?? Ew wtf, no.. … Ohhhhhhhhhh Ahem. My apologies. Allow me to back up a couple steps: subscribe if you’re alive Subscribe When I was in college and they’d give us an assignment due in two weeks, I’d spend the first 13 days playing Spikeball in t

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