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I wanted to be a teacher but they made me a cop

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To be clear, I don’t want to know when my students have diarrhea, and I don’t ask them. They just tell me. Every week, I get emails about upset stomachs, as well as strange coughs, sick grandmothers, suicidal friends, canceled flights, and family emergencies. One student cornered me after class to tell me he’s been absent so much because he’s both getting divorced and starting a business. (“Please don’t worry about it,” I said.) Another time, a student apologized for missing class; she had just found out about a mass shooting near her home. (“Please don’t worry about it.”) Once, I listened, aghast, to a student explain that she’d unfortunately have to miss class to be at her child’s life-saving surgery.  (“PLEASE don’t worry about it!!”) Until recently, this all seemed unfortunate but sensible. Students want points, I have the points, and so they’ll divulge whatever details they think will get me to cough those points up. Some students are probably lying, and part of my job is to tell

I wanted to be a teacher but they made me a cop The conundrum in every classroom Adam Mastroianni May 16, 2023 375 50 52 Share Article voiceover 0:00 -22:36 Audio playback is not supported on your browser. Please upgrade. Photo cred: my dad Here’s one of the weirdest parts of teaching: students tell you when they have diarrhea. To be clear, I don’t want to know when my students have diarrhea, and I don’t ask them. They just tell me. Every week, I get emails about upset stomachs, as well as strange coughs, sick grandmothers, suicidal friends, canceled flights, and family emergencies. One studen

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