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The Messiness of Friendship - The Atlantic

theatlantic.com · 455 words · saved by 1 readers

This is an edition of The Wonder Reader, a newsletter in which our editors recommend a set of stories to spark your curiosity and fill you with delight. Sign up here to get it every Saturday morning. At one point or another, we’ve all probably been that friend—the one who calls, texts, or sends a five-minute voice note with a long list of grievances. In the midst of complaining, a person might wonder: Am I venting too much? During a moment when much of modern friendship advice emphasizes trying not to overshare, venting—once treated as a basic expression of closeness—has come to be seen as risky, even impolite, Julie Beck writes. The fear of being “too much” or of “trauma-dumping” has led many people to hold back, Julie notes. Taken too far, this caution risks flattening friendship itself, she warns. Listening to your friends vent can be draining, yes—but it can also build intimacy. Friendship isn’t about setting perfect boundaries: It’s about making room, sometimes messily, for one an

This is an edition of The Wonder Reader, a newsletter in which our editors recommend a set of stories to spark your curiosity and fill you with delight. Sign up here to get it every Saturday morning. At one point or another, we’ve all probably been that friend—the one who calls, texts, or sends a five-minute voice note with a long list of grievances. In the midst of complaining, a person might wonder: Am I venting too much? During a moment when much of modern friendship advice emphasizes trying not to overshare, venting—once treated as a basic expression of closeness—has come to be seen as ris

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