defying self-consciousness - Isabel Unraveled

I’m increasingly convinced that the purpose of all insecurities is one thing: to keep you in your head, convince you that you are inadequate, and to prevent you from taking action. I spent much of this morning reading through the journal I have been writing in for the last few months. As I read through it, I could literally sense the waves of feeling inclined towards action, towards exerting my will on the world, taking risks and leaning into life—and the waves of the inverse: self-consciousness, insecurities and old brain worms crashing onto shore, after years of remaining underwater, invisible, undetectable to my consciousness until they were monopolizing it. I could see the force with which I was willing to show up in the world wax and wane proportionally to my sense of confidence and security within myself. The more insecure / in my head on any given day I was—even if the insecurity was completely tangential to what I “wanted to do” that day, the less likely I was to do it. The bet

I’m increasingly convinced that the purpose of all insecurities is one thing: to keep you in your head, convince you that you are inadequate, and to prevent you from taking action. I spent much of this morning reading through the journal I have been writing in for the last few months. As I read through it, I could literally sense the waves of feeling inclined towards action, towards exerting my will on the world, taking risks and leaning into life—and the waves of the inverse: self-consciousness, insecurities and old brain worms crashing onto shore, after years of remaining underwater, invisib