Self-deception has externalities - by Lydia Nottingham

I don’t know why this thing has troubled me into anno domini 2025. It feels strange and anachronistic and more than anything it just doesn’t fit into my identity. My identity is someone with full self-modification ability. My identity is someone who doesn’t waste time on internal conflicts. This is starting to get a bit silly so I am going to change the equilibrium. I thought you had a fixed number of idiosyncrasy credits (‘weirdness points’) and I had already used all mine up. It felt incompatible with my community. People made comments that spooked me. I take responsibility for this. I told someone about it on the 24th. I felt the way my voice wavered and how it was the most vulnerable thing I could say. I felt silly about this—it’s a weakness. To have a secret exposes you to distortions. I felt that and I don’t want it anymore. Paradoxically, though this post would traditionally be considered vulnerable, it is actually decreasing the power this holds over me. Emotional vulnerability

I don’t know why this thing has troubled me into anno domini 2025. It feels strange and anachronistic and more than anything it just doesn’t fit into my identity. My identity is someone with full self-modification ability. My identity is someone who doesn’t waste time on internal conflicts. This is starting to get a bit silly so I am going to change the equilibrium. I thought you had a fixed number of idiosyncrasy credits (‘weirdness points’) and I had already used all mine up. It felt incompatible with my community. People made comments that spooked me. I take responsibility for this. I told